Day 36

Today I went to the 9am and it was packed. I had a pretty decent class teven hough it was really distracting having all the people in class. There were also 6 new people and a bunch of deaf students who were also really distracting. It was pretty obvious they didn't look up any of the postures so they were doing things all wrong and then when the instructor tried to correct them, it didn't work so well because, well, they are deaf. I kind of felt like a jerk getting annoyed by the deaf students. I think the instructors should learn some basic sign language or something. I was thinking about learning some sign language too. I am so close to Gallaudet, whenever I go out around my house there are always deaf people. It would be neat to be able to communicate at least a little.

Anyway, I felt good after class. I am going to try to do a double today and take the 5pm. We will see...

Day 35

Took the 6:15 again today and felt WAY better than yesterday. Glad that feeling wasn't a trend.

Day 34

Ok. 1. I am still writing even though I said I wasn't going to. 2. This whole plan to do doubles for the next three days straight is becoming improbable. I am exhausted after yesterday's double. This morning in the 6:15 I probably laid there like a lump for a good third of the floor series. I could not pull it together. My attitude sucked and I left feeling just worn out. Usually when I get really tired and sit something out, someone else is sitting out too so it makes me feel like it isn't just me. Today, the entire class was going strong and I was gasping for air like I had just run a marathon, flopped out on the floor. I think I need a full 24 hours until tomorrow morning's class. I do have a whole month to do these three doubles I have left, so I may spread them out a bit depending on how I feel.

I weighed myself this morning. I have lost 3 pounds. It isn't that much but I have also been eating everything in sight. I don't know how to eat really healthy while doing this challenge. I need energy. But I also think my body has definitely changed irregardless of any weight loss. My butt is higher and everything just feels tighter. I like it.

Day 32 & 33

I did a double today. I took the 6:15am class, which was wonderful, relaxing and calming and then I took the 6pm class, which was like boot camp and I thought I was going to throw up for half the class. But I have one double out of the way. I am going to try to do doubles Friday, Saturday and Sunday and then I will all caught up.

Day 31

So I am not going to write as much but I have decided to turn my 30 day challenge into a 60 day challenge. I took 4 days off so that means I have to do 4 doubles in the next month but I am hoping to get them out of the way in the next week or so so I am right on track. This morning I took the 6:15am class and I stood in the front for the first time.

I know I keep saying this but I feel absolutely amazing! My mind is clearer and I am more comfortable with myself in every way. I only knew a certain level of comfort and self-awareness when it came to my body before this challenge. I feel as though now I am going deeper. I am aware of each one of my toes, my foot arches, my knuckles, my pinky fingers, my butt and even my upper back. I have thought about my lower back but I don't think I have ever really thought about my upper back. My body is way stronger and toner and I am way more flexible. Everyday I think about the first week when I was wobbly and falling all over the place. Now there are poses where I don't even budge.


I have also noticed I have short arms or a long torso - I can't figure out which one. I think this fact would have really bothered me in the past. "What is wrong with me?" "Great, yet another abnormality." "Why can't I do this and everyone else can?" "Oh my God I have stumpy little arms!" What amazes me is that none of those thoughts haven't popped up. At all. I think at one point I was just confused and then it just came to me that my body doesn't work that way. Done and done. That was all. More than thinking of it as a negative, it was like an epiphany. I was almost excited to have figured it out.

Most of all I just feel more confident. My posture is better and it isn't just because my core is stronger. I am proud. Even when I don't have a great class, I am super proud of myself. I don't aim for perfection I just try to stay in the room and it works every time. I walk around with a little secret - it is as if I hold the not-so-secret secret to peace. When I find myself stressed out, I think about what I have learned in Bikram and I bring it to my everyday. I look forward to going and I miss it when I don't go. More than anything, I am so grateful to have been introduced to this. (Thank you Peter and Erica!)  I am realizing how incredibly lucky I am. I have a wonderful partner, job, friends, family and home. And now on top of all of that, I have this wonderful new appreciation of ME. This is just amazing.